Greetings!
One of my favorite Bruce Springsteen songs is “4th
of July, Asbury Park (Sandy).” It’s a song about growing up on the Jersey
Shore. Since that’s exactly where I grew up, well, the song always just talked
to me; I mean, I lived in this song. Here’s the refrain—maybe you recognize it:
Sandy, the aurora is rising behind us
This pier lights our carnival life forever
Love me tonight for I may never see you again
Hey Sandy girl, my baby
As I’m
writing this week’s blog entry, I know that my home town (Ocean City, the next
island south of Atlantic City) sustained a heavy hit from Sandy. Fortunately, my
mom’s okay and her house is more or less intact, but it sounds like hundreds of
other houses and businesses in OC are badly damaged or destroyed. The south end
of the island was particularly hard hit. I spent several summers driving a
canteen truck on the beaches from 41st Street all the way down to 59th
Street, and the images I’m seeing from various sites are just unbelievable. Say
a prayer for the people whose homes or businesses or beloved family vacation
spots were wrecked by the storm; it’s going to be a different Jersey shore in
the future. And “4th of July, Asbury Park (Sandy)” is never going to
mean quite the same thing again.
Anyway, this
week: favorite monsters, President Obama vs. the Navy, and Munich on the
Columbia.
Gaming: A posting or two back I
reflected on some of the D&D adventures I was most proud of. Since it’s
Halloween, it seems like a great day to look back and reflect on some of the
monsters I’ve added to the D&D game over the years. Creating monsters doesn’t
give you immediate payoff, the way writing an adventure does—you don’t really
know if you’ve added something durable and popular to the universe of the game
until much later, when you slowly pick up secondhand stories from peoples’
games in which your monsters appeared. These are monsters I created (or deftly
borrowed from various myths and stories) that have proven to have some real
traction—or that deserved to get more traction than they did. Here goes:
10. Storm
Devil (4th Edition): This guy appeared in the 4e Manual of the
Planes. Making up new devils is tough; the Nine Hells are something of a
hierarchy, so you have to make sure that you’re creating something that can fit
smoothly into what’s already a fairly complete picture. For the storm devil, it
was about fitting a role and level that was underrepresented in the types of
devils available—ice devils are freaky bug guys who are all about melee, so
creating another powerful devil that would look good in Cania and emphasize the
artillery role was a fun opportunity. I’m also proud of the tar devil I created
for 4th Edition, because it fits so well in Minauros, where there aren’t
many other devil types that seem to really belong. Anyway, I’m a little sad
that storm devils didn’t catch on very much; I thought they were pretty solid.
9. The Gorgon
(2nd Edition): That’s THE Gorgon, not run-of-the-mill gorgons. It’s
not often that you get to create the iconic villain for a whole setting. The
Birthright Campaign Setting featured a number of unique monsters known as
awnsheghlien, or “blood of darkness,” and the Gorgon was the biggest and
baddest awnsheghlien of them all. Prince Raesene was a tragic figure, whose rivalry
and estrangement with his brothers led him deeper and deeper into true evil.
And he could kill you just by looking at you.
8. Alkilith
(2nd Edition): Back around 1994, I took on the Planescape Monstrous
Compendium II as an after-hours freelance project. As it turns out, the Planescape
MC2 introduced dozens of monsters that stuck around through succeeding editions
and gained real traction in the D&D universe. The alkilith is a horrible
slime-demon; what’s not to like?
7. Tsochar
(3rd Edition): This nasty little piece of work appeared in Lords of
Madness as the “new” aberration race. I based them loosely on the parasitic body-melding
monsters from Achernar that appeared in Jack Vance’s Cugel the Clever stories. The
tsochar haven’t picked up a great deal of traction, but I see them kicking
around every now and then, and fans remember Lords of Madness kindly.
6. Malkizid,
the Branded King (3rd Edition): Unlike every other monster on this
list, Malkizid was created first and foremost as an archvillain for one of my
novels—well, three, in fact. He was the big baddie in The Last Mythal trilogy.
Later on I wrote up a set of game stats for this archdevil in exile, which
appeared in the Champions of Ruin sourcebook. Malkizid isn’t very well known
outside of a small number of dedicated Realms fans, but I’m proud of the way I
was able to interweave his story with existing lore about the Crown Wars, the
fall of Myth Drannor, and other Realms history.
5. The
Keepers (2nd Edition): Another set of critters introduced in the
Planescape MC2, the Keepers are a mysterious race of malevolent not-quite-humans
who guard hidden secrets. They’re unabashedly based on the villainous watchers
from Dark City. Rob Schwalb picked up the notion and ran with it in 4th
Edition by tying them to the wonderfully dark and disturbing city of
Gloomwrought in the Shadowfell.
4. Guardinals
(2nd Edition): When I outlined the Planescape Monstrous Compendium 2,
the game had outsider races native to places like the Seven Heavens, the Nine
Hells, the Abyss, and Hades, but conspicuous absences in other parts of the
Great Wheel. I created the guardinal race to fill in one of those holes, and
gave a little tiny dose of Narnia to the Beastlands. The notion might have been
guided by what James Wyatt described as “the desire to create needless
symmetry,” but the guardinals turned out to have some legs.
3. Canoloth (2nd
Edition): And another Planescape MC 2 creation! Back in 2e and 3e, these guys
were yugoloths, but then in 4e, the yugoloths became a family of demons (I
never liked that development very much). Anyway, these blind, mastiff-like
trackers with prehensile barbed tongues are just creepy. I wrote a great scene
in The Shadow Stone where Aeron is chased by one of these things.
2. Bazim-Gorag
(3rd Edition): The third unique individual on this list, Bazim-Gorag
is a two-headed slaad lord I created for my adventure “Prison of the
Firebringer,” which appeared in Dungeon 101. Chris Perkins liked him so much
that he gave Bazim-Gorag the cover of the magazine. Bazim-Gorag has outlived
his appearance in a Dungeon adventure, and is now counted as one of the very
few slaad lords in the D&D universe.
1. Eladrin
(2nd Edition): At the top of the list, one final entry from the
Planescape Monstrous Compendium 2, the faerie lords known as the eladrin. Like
the guardinals, I created the eladrin to populate one of the empty spots on the
Great Wheel—in this case, Arborea or Olympus. As the Chaotic Good outsider
race, the eladrin thrived in 3rd Edition. Then, in 4e, our creation
of a new cosmology model brought the eladrin into tighter focus as a Sidhe-like
race who lived in the plane of faerie. Then, as we wrangled over the question
of whether the elf player character race was really a wood elf or a high elf,
we wound up using the name Eladrin to describe the high elf race, whose great
lords and ladies are beings of innate magical power. Anyway, whether they’re
angelic outsiders or the nobles of the high elves, the eladrin seem like they’ve
contributed to the D&D universe and are going to stick around for a while.
So, there
you go: Ten monsters I added to the D&D game. I hope they’ve turned up at
your table once or twice!
Politics/Current Affairs: I watched all
three presidential debates very seriously this year, but there was only one
moment that had me off the couch and shaking my fist at the TV: President
Obama’s airy dismissal of the Navy’s shrinking fleet, and his condescending
explanation of how we “now have these things called aircraft carriers, where
planes take off and land on top, and these ships that go underwater, nuclear
submarines.” The pundits on the left thought that was a great zinger, a real
laugh-out-loud line that showed how little Romney knows about things the
commander in chief needs to know. The fact that it was delivered by a man who
had *NO* military experience at all when he sought the same office four years
ago was especially ironic. When Obama mocked Romney’s qualifications to
comment, wasn’t he mocking himself too?
On
to the substance of the remarks. First, they *had* submarines in 1916. They
were actually pretty important weapons of war by that point. And they were
working on carriers, too. The US Navy was launching and recovering planes from
ships by 1911. I don’t expect anyone but a person with a serious knowledge of
naval history to know that, but hey, since the President portrayed himself as
an authority, I thought it was worth pointing out.
More
importantly: The President claims that it doesn’t matter that we’re down to 288
ships (and predicted to drop down to 240 or less over the next few years)
because ships are so much more capable than they used to be. That is a
surprisingly naïve view. Here’s the problem: No matter how advanced your ship
is, you can’t be in two places at the same time. We maintain ships on station
near potential crisis points all around the world, most notably in the Arabian
Gulf and the West Pacific. To keep 1 ship on station at all times, you actually
need 4 ships: Ships can spend about 6 months out of every 2 years deployed. The
rest of the time is dedicated to maintenance and training cycles.
China’s navy
consists of about 139 major combatants—and they’re building fast. That number
is going to go up. Our ability to check major aggression in the South China Sea
or East China Sea is already shaky, and it’s not going to improve if we follow
President Obama’s plan (or lack of a plan). The Navy has identified a need for
a 313-ship fleet. I think that’s the minimal figure we should maintain.
President Obama’s lack of concern about this question is alarming.
One final
note… a substantial number of the hulls we expect to make up our fleet in the
next ten years are NOT our highly capable destroyers, cruisers, or attack
submarines. They’re the new LCS vessels, which are absolutely useless for
fighting other warships. The Navy plans to build more than 50 of these things,
and the only enemies they can take on are enemies that can’t shoot back. That’s
okay for a patrol ship, but it’s not going to do much to deter the People’s
Liberation Army Navy from starting a ruckus. I wrote quite a bit about the LCS
program a few months back, and let’s just say I’m not a fan.
The Finer Things: Last week I joined a
friend of mine and a whole gang on beer aficionados on a train trip down to
Portland, which is regarded as perhaps the finest beer city in the United
States. We visited the HUB (or Hopworks Urban Brewery), the Apex Brewery, the
Burnside Brewery, and the Tugboat Brewery. I sampled some very fine beer! At
the HUB, I had a glass of the brewery’s lager, which was quite good. I used to
be all about the ambers and reds, but I’ve come to really appreciate good
pilsners and lagers these days as well as the darker stuff. Apex served a
variety of European beers on draft; I had a fine Belgian called Avec Les Bon
Voeux, and a classic pilsner by Veltins. At the Burnside, I enjoyed their Stock
Ale, a smooth red-amber ale, and an excellent cubano slider off their happy
hour menu. Finally, at the Tugboat, I tried the Chernobyl Stout, which was
truly exceptional. I am generally not a beer snob, but it was fun to spend a
day roaming around Portland pretending to be one. I heartily recommend each of
the pubs we visited if you find yourself in Portland and you’re thirsty.